Anonymous Army

One of my dogs is spending the day today at the vet. He has a ruptured anal gland - probably as a result of me feeding him too much gingerbread. He loves gingerbread and it makes me happy to make him happy. My other dog, a four month old puppy, is spending the day at home moping around because it's the first day she's spent without him. She doesn't know what to do when there's no older dog to pounce at or bite on the bottom. I know how she feels.

The depressed state is one where there are hints and clues that point to your former existence. Maybe your friends still keep in touch with you, maybe you manage to do something productive like get out of bed or make dinner, maybe you listen to a song or spy a photograph that bordered your life when you were 'happy'. My puppy is the same; she knows there's something wrong, our other dog's not here, but her life looks much the same. And if you spied her for the first time today you'd be none the wiser.

This blog aims to keep a record of my depression in the hopes that somebody like me will find it and realise they're not alone. It will feature guest posts from people who are like me and are either going through similar treatment plans (anti-depressants and therapy) or choosing to work things out their own way, maybe through diet, prayer or exercise. We're the anonymous army: there are fuckloads of us, but we don't talk for fear of recrimination. We see public personalities suffer from depression and become reduced to being spokespeople for a disease that hits too close to home for any of us to properly focus on. We suffer when people call anti-depressants 'happy pills', when we realise that phrases like 'You're crazy' or 'You're mental' said in jest punch us in the throat. We never thought we'd get here but here we are.

I aim to keep on top of mental health developments in the news while reviewing the resources I have at my disposal and writing about anything I think is relevant. Should you stumble upon this blog and wish to contribute please contact me. Let's not go through this journey alone.

AnonEd